Glow

I followed that star right up to my front door

There's nothing like Christmas to make me want more.

If I've been dreaming, don't you dare let me wake

And, Angels, protect me with each small snowflake.

I care not for the future if it does not exist

This moment is what I aim for and I can't miss.

My past is littered with careless effigies

Of a battered heart and brutal honestys.

I can say without hesistation that I

Have often been short changed or passed by

But I am not afraid of what the future might bring

In the sun or the rain, I'll continue to sing.

Cause despite all the pain, I still find sheer joy

And I'll continue to find happiness to employ.

I know all the rumors and I'll put them to rhyme

We can't all be perfect and so I won't try.

There's a spark where I stand open here in the dark

The vunerability is so blatent and stark

Against the black skyline I'll burn with a fire

For a Love and a Life I'll continually admire

This isn't a game and so, I won't play

There is more to this life, today is the day.

I didn't used to be able to picture myself with short hair. Even after I cut it, I still had the image of myself with long brown hair in my head. I would look in the mirror, cocking my head right and then left, not seeing it. Not seeing me. I wasn't too worried about it, but it did make me think about who was in the mirror versus who was standing in front of it. There is a cool scene in the latest Chronicles of Narnia film, Voyages of The Dawn Treader, where Lucy reads a spell to make her beautiful. She transforms into her sister and while looking into the mirror, pushes it forward and walks through as if it were a door. But once she is on the other side she realizes that by becoming her elder sister, she has erased herself from existence. I wonder if we do that sometimes in real life... If we try so hard to become what we want to see in the mirror that we erase ourselves from existence.

I was told this afternoon that I was glowing. By a stranger. When a stranger tells you you're glowing, there are two possibilities. Either A. You need to check into some facility for coming into contact with radioactive or nuclear material OR B. You are genuinely happy. And I am. I am usually a pretty happy, easy going human but something has changed in the past couple weeks. I learned to really let go of things, truly forgive people and myself for our many mistakes, and love on them unconditionally. Even the people I am not so fond of. They suck at life, but I'll love them anyway. When the number of people you'd take a bullet for jumps from 12 to 7 Billion? There is definite change happening in you. I am excited about attending Uni as of next week. I am excited about my mentors and bouncing ideas off of them. I'm excited to share with those I love. I am excited for New Years and for the new year. I am excited that I have people in my life who tell me when what I'm doing is awesome and when it might not be the healthiest. I am excited that everyone in my life makes me laugh and I make them laugh. I'm excited that I'm so excited.

I write the word "LOVE" on every paper bill I get. And when I purchase things, I purchase them with love rather than cash. Everyone looks at me kind of funny, but nobody asks why the word "LOVE" is scrawled in red sharpie across the dollar bill in their hand. It's okay that they don't, I just hope it spreads and makes somebody smile. But I hope someone does ask and I have the opportunity to tell them. It's because you're loved, by me! A complete and total stranger. I love you, Stranger. I'll be as honest as I can with you, I will never judge you, and I will love you through everything you are with everything that I am. It won't be perfect and sometimes I might miss a step, but it will be the best I can give. So, always know that there is someone out there who loves you, even when it feels like there is no one. Why, you ask? Better question for you, Why not? Big smile now.

A lot of people want to know what's next for their traveling fiend. The answer is simple, I do not! know. And I won't know. I can tell you what I guess, but the truth is I don't know. Just because I'm back in the 425 doesn't mean I've changed who I am at the core. I have no plan. So don't ask me for one. What am I going to do? I'm going to attend Uni classes at Shepherds and do some Yoga. I am going to continue volunteering, singing, and participating in 3 different churches. I'd like to maybe do a walking trip. I'm going to leave the country and travel the world again, this time with a companion. I am going to climb mountains and hang out with ridiculously poor people, not because I can give them anything but because what they could give me would be life changing. I am going to get married, I am going to have kids, I am going to take that family around the world. I am going to sing, to dance, to laugh, to cry, to speak funny languages, to travel, to love, to learn for every and no reason at all. I am going to live and then I am going to have the greatest adventure of all. And I am going to enjoy every minute. How's that for what's next? That would be the "50 Year Plan," Ladies and Gents, and there is no insurance policy on it.

I think that's all for now, kidds. Celebrate the New Year in style. Love on one another. Glow.