The line is blurred with inadequacies. Don't hold back what you want to say. I'm learning more and more that honesty counts for all things. It's not about what you want, it's about what you need. I'd like to think we are always growing. I'd like to think we understand more about ourselves each and every day. And I swear those words could heal.
Take my hand, live while you can, don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand?
I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'll do. I don't know, but I know it's gonna be good. My life is far from perfect, but I have what I need. That's what counts, that's what is important. Maybe it's not the most luxurious lifestyle, but I know what it is to live on a dollar a day. I am letting go of what "defines" me, making room for new.
No fear, no fences, nobody. No reins. She's learning how to let go, whichever way the wind blows.
Just drive. Search for the prettiest fall colors. Cheers to freedom. Laugh until you cry. Dance on tabletops. Thank God for every little thing. Take a walk. Talk on the phone. Ride your bike. Take photographs. Sing at the top of your lungs. Make cookies so good they melt. Hang out with kids. Write. Travel on your own. Throw sparkles into the air. Wear whatever you like. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
These words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to.
I am going to do the Seattle to Portland ride with my friend Nanners this Summer. Maybe climb Ranier as well. After that? I'm thinking I'd like to do the LA to DC ride. From there? I want to walk back. Virgina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Cali, Oregon to Washington. Seeing all the things I've always wanted. And yes, I said walk. I would like to move home to Hawaii for awhile. I'd like to open a bakery and live on a sailboat. I want to get married. Barefeet and toes in the sand. I want to see four kids running around with my eyes and their fathers hair. Me in a little dress from 1955 and him in jeans and a blazer, both of us tripping over eachother to get the kids to school and ourselves to work, laughing the whole time. Hey, when I dream? I dream big. As my friend Jo said, crazier things have happened.
I hate to break it to you babe, but I'm not drowning. There's no one here to save.
As beautiful as all those dreams are? I have found that the things you want and the things you get are not always insync. But I have what I need and I can work towards those dreams I long for. That is what's important. Life will send you waves, you just gotta pick which ones you wanna ride.
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