Like The P In Philosophy

And so twothousandeleven begins. One year, one word. New endings, new beginnings. There is a lot I could say about the year that has passed. All the things, places, people I miss - or perhaps don't. It appears my favorite Dr Seuss book has been truer to my life than anything else. And Oh! The Places I've Been. There is magic in the things you don't expect. It captures and enraptures you. Wrapping you in... well, find your own magic. And yes, I believe in magic. It might not be your typical black swamp voodoo, but I believe in the kind of magic we create in ourselves, through our actions, by ((wait for the scandal)) God. I can already hear the sacrelige calls, Jesus ain't magic! Dude, Jesus was totally magic. Divine is just another word for magical. But not all magic is divine, kind of like squares and rectangles...

And The CH In Psychology

My paternal grandmother passed away this fall ((in case you don't know what paternal grandmother means, it means she was my fathers mother)). I have the memorial service pamphlet in the mirror on my wall. It's weird to lose a grandparent. Especially when they have always lived far away. Because sometimes it can feel like they are just not around and then the pain of losing them becomes a reality once more and you would rather not get out of bed. It's one sick rollercoaster. I find I miss her more and more as time goes on, rather than less. If you know me and you've heard me talk about my grandmother, I have probably used a single consistent word to describe her: Bitch. Wild, rampant, absolute bitch. And oddly, I mean that in the most respectful way. The woman took crap from no man, woman, or child. She was the most hard working, devoted woman I have ever met. Her happiness never came before anyone elses and she loved fiercely. She always supported me and my craziness. Telling me I would work it out in the end and if I couldn't figure it out? There was no hope for the rest of humanity because I was the smartest girl that ever did live. She was so proud of me. It radiated from her. When I graduated High School, I had double the amount of credits needed and I mentioned it to my grandmother while she was on my living room floor, making me lei's for graduation, and the look on her face wasn't the typical shock but rather reassurance. "Of course you do, baby, you're probably the smartest girl at the public school, certainly the prettiest." That was my granma, no crap, just truth. I get that from her. I'm the only one of her grankids to ever tell her she was being stupid. I threw away her cigarettes when I was there for a Summer and told her she'd have to stop if she wanted to live long enough to see any of us do anything. Two years later she was in the hospital. We thought that was the end of the road. My daddy played the guitar and I sang in the ICU, totally not allowed but they made an exception. I'm the first thing she remembered. My voice, me holding her hand. I had never seen her take a sick day in her life before that. She was at my cousins wedding a month later, at my graduation half a year later, and lived 4 more years.

Like The Truth In Theology

I'm only who I am because of where I've been. Despite the dark that lies therein, light shines through to where I stand. I could never cover up or pretend that the past did not exist. I'm better for it, love and freedom in one resounding echo across everything that I am. Never stop, never stop, never stop.

Peace.