Clear and Lovely

I used to believe God lived in the ceiling. It wasn't necessarily that He only lived in the ceiling, and He could most certainly come out of the ceiling whenever He pleased, but that was where He resided on a regular basis. This thought occupied my mind probably until the last couple of years. And even now, when I am looking for God I usually look up - as if I might catch a glimpse of my Creator hanging out in the rafters, and maybe I will yet. But lately I haven't been looking for God so much as listening. Stretching my neck towards the Heavens in such deep need to hear. And He is ever faithful.

Driving along our beautiful back roads, rain falling in fat drops on the yellow leaves, I heard His Voice. It was clear and it was lovely. Considering why I had been sent back from travelling abroad, I suddenly had the answer. "I sent you back for Mark," the Voice was warm inside my heart, "I sent you back for Rory, I sent you back so you could hear a new call to the drums of Africa." I laughed as the tears of joy streamed down my cheeks - you know, like a crazy person.

Before this Summer, I had never felt Africa on my heart or mind. Before last Summer, I didn't even like Mark Dullanty. Before the previous Summer, I would never have considered being a missionary. God needed to change my heart towards mission work, my mind toward Marko, and my call towards Africa. I would have called you a liar and I would have been shamed as this beautiful love story unfolded before my eyes. But I heard the Voice I had been straining so hard for. He didn't bestow ultimate wisdom upon me, He simply spoke the quiet truth I needed to be reminded of.

That same weekend we hosted friends for dinner and as a gesture of love one of them said, "Rory will be such a wonderful missionary baby." The words left my mouth before I even considered them, "He already is, he is a missionary to Auburn and Maple Valley and Black Diamond." I am eager to leave. Get on a plane with all my family and all our belongings and leave to have most wonderful African adventures! But I also need to be aware that I am already on the mission field. We are always on a mission field. How can you go love those in Africa if you cannot love those where you are now? You can't.

A dear friend of mine, who has always wanted children, is coming to find out that may not be a possibility for her. Adoption had never crossed her mind and she called me. I am a little adoption ridiculous, I don't talk about it because I just had a baby of my own and we probably won't be adopting for some time - but I want to. Dear God, I want to. I want babies of every color and shade and personality. I sent her an overwhelming amount of information. Yes, I follow adoption blogs and research the costs and grants on a regular basis, don't judge me. She is being stretched beyond what she ever imagined, and I am being stretched to remind her that being a mom doesn't always mean your children come from your womb - without being a pretentious and entitled ass because I've just had my own.

Our Little Ewok

I don't pretend to know what the next step of our journey is or to know the path in front of us, but I do know what God is calling us to and that he is calling us to it as a family. We will continue to be stretched thin over the will of Christ, but it will be marvelous and wonderful and we will be better for it. There is nothing that cannot be achieved by the glorious hand of God. And I am excited! So excited. I have once again heard the Voice I live to hear and returned in order to do these things that have been laid before me, all that stems from it and is yet to come is still mysterious and lovely.