15 January 2011

And How These Hands Could Create Better Things

This is not an escape plan.

Intro To Malialani Elizabeth Jane Danger Carrell; Spontaneity 101 - Class begins whenever you say, querido. I'll teach you my ways if you let me in on yours. There is quite a bit of ground to cover.

Who are you? Your job or family or friends? Are you your beliefs or thoughts? Are you all your material possessions? Your body? Your mind, your heart, your soul? Who are you and how do you know? Are you important? And who decides?

Je pense, dunque, je suis.

My name is Malialani. It means "heavenly calm," the joke is my family is that it was wishful thinking on my parents part. I was born the 20th of April 1989 to Patricia Jean and Gerald Kehaulani Ka'ilihau in Omak Washington. I am Hawaiian, Chinese, and a smattering of European. I have two younger brothers by blood, Zachary Ka'ilihau and Alexander Kolomona - or - Zbear and Alika. My family moved to Maple Valley Washington when I was 4 and has lived there since. I spent Summers in Hawaii with family and had a pretty typical childhood climbing trees and trying to fry eggs on the concrete. I went nuts as an adolescent, there were ups and downs but mostly downs. I learned a lot about myself and what is inately important to me, but couldn't seem to make life work. Eventually, I skipped the country. I travelled the world, picking up obscure jobs, and making friends along the way. I currently attend Shepherds Bible College and am unemployed like the rest of America. I do a lot of yoga and have extensive conversations with God. I'm happy. I hang out with my friends and family and do whatever comes into my head. You might say I've found myself, but I don't. I'm a work in progress - aren't we all?

Dime, dime si te vas con ellos.

Indifference, Intolerance, and Injustice outrage me so I can have a short temper if pushed. I am eternally optimistic which drives people crazy. I speak in slurred sarcasm and laughter and a lot of people don't follow. I like to try anything once, but sometimes I don't. I think habitual use of drugs or alcohol is highly overated. I sing along with the radio loudly - and dance. I believe every human life has intrinsic worth and I'll debate it until I die. I am a follower of The Way but the only people I'll ever throw a Bible at are those who make judgements. I'm honest and loyal to a fault, but often do things without thinking. I've mastered spontaneity and making everything in life an adventure, which can be a little overwhelming. I'm a complete eclectic musically and I love most things oldschool. I speak 10 languages and I am learning my 11th because I believe in trying to understand one another on every level. I'm down to earth and I refuse to participate in drama, but that means I sometimes shirk away from conflict. Do you feel like you know me yet?

Beijos infinidades, que bom.

My favorite color is green. Favorite number is 7. I write because I my brain has too many thoughts for me to function without putting them to temporary permanence. I draw. My best friends are named Kendall and Wesley, they will both be on my side of the officiary at my wedding. I refuse to wear dresses or skirts that go past my knees. I'm a food snob. I tend to do exactly what I feel like. I read the Bible a whole lot. Actually, I just read a whole lot. My two favorite activities are playing house wife and travelling the world. I have tattoos and piercings. I apologize only when I mean it. I loathe shock value. I use humor to mask when I'm uncomfortable. I give second, third, fourth, fifth, anddd one hundreth chances which means sometimes I get walked on. I would let music consume me if I could. My favorite film is Casablanca. I like to take pictures with a film camera that is older than I am. Antique stores provide me with hours of entertainment. I tend to call any place that I feel comfortable "home." I draw all over myself and will probably die of ink poisoning at some point. Do. You. Understand. Who. I. Am. Now.

Do you feel?

Should I put a soapbox under my feet? Or mayhaps speak into a megaphone? I'll just roll up these pages I scribble on a speak to you through them. Which of these facts makes me who I am? Is it all of them? None of them? Riddle me this. Who I am and who are you? Where do we come from and what is our purpose. What are we doing and why are we doing it. Where are we headed? Our 9-5 jobs and white picket fences don't seem to be cutting it, do they? Being a rebellious little teenager doesn't give you anymore anwers than that white picket fence. So what are we doing? What is it that makes us who we are?

Mai troppo tardi.

I have green eyes, short brown hair, caramel colored skin, and a few freckles - But that doesn't tell you what I look like. I feel like there is joy hidden in all things - But that doesn't tell you how to make me happy. I've stood in 20+ countries on and 4 continents - But that doesn't tell you where I've been. I go to Church - But that doesn't tell you what I believe. I try to only do things that make me and others happy - But that doesn't tell you what I like to do or how I do it. So what is the truth? I suppose that's individual and you'll have to find out.

And this is me, saying things I actually mean.

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