17 August 2011

Something Small

It's the beginning of the end. The end of the beginning. Whichever, something is happening. It's a simple concept. Love is hard. I like it that way, between you and me. It's not always easy, but I wouldn't say it's a choice. I couldn't say it's a choice. I already have my one, I already have my two, I could keep counting but why bother? I'm in the sunshine. I am in the brook. My toes are between sparkling water and my hands are fiddling with blackberry bushes. A scratch here and there and purple all over my fingers.

I'm learning a lot about prayer. But more about listening. It has a little to do with patience, a little to do with love. A whole lot to do with ignoring myself, which sometimes means paying attention. It's backwards, but that's the way it should be. If it made sense, it couldn't be true. Isn't that the way of the world. We'll light a fire to keep us warm. Falling stars and all the rest I've forgotten to mention. I always make wishes for other people. I know not what I'd wish for myself.

They're all so precious, like stones or gems. But more so than even that, more so than any of that. What is in a human life that makes it worth so much. It breaks your heart and sooths your soul all at once, never seperate. Hold tight, this is the new knew. Love. Pour forth and never let it cease. Incontinuity ruins all that could be continuous. That should be. I want them to know, to absolutely and completely know. To be aware of the affection held for them, of the esteem. How can I make it more apparent! My eyes are already welled up and my heart spilling over. Over over.

Low expectations and a fiery imagination is how I break things down. I have a hunger for things that won't satisfy and a thirst for that which cannot be quenched. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not what you like to see on paper, and in person it's not much better. I know that I bring something no one else can offer, you'll have to see it for yourself. There is white linen and a chain of roses I made, just hanging on my way. I'm not worried, I'm excited! But it's quiet and calm.

Not typical, but I'm not sure anything else would be appropriate. I don't have any answers right now, nor do I have a direction for you. I have more than that, so much more that it weighs me down as I spin in circles beneath the sun and between the music notes. Joy! to all that is and will be. I don't have enough words, I don't have enough sentiment. Just hope that you feel my meaning. This is more. Or less. Perhaps I don't even know what I'd like to express. Only that I wish to express it.

Love love love.

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