African Dreams

I am excited to report that Mark and I have our first real possibility to go on mission! We have looked at more than a handful of companies and have finally found where we fit. Now, I don't want to jinx it or get our hopes up, but I do want lots of happy thoughts toward this opportunity as it is one we would really love...

Just so you know? It's difficult to find a missions company that fits you. First and foremost? They have to be going/located where you would like to go/be located. Then they have to be willing to work with families because, hey! we are about to be a family of three. Next there is the matter of the amount of time - we aren't looking for two weeks or a month or even six. We are looking to do the career thing. You know, 5 years plus? Yah. And finally, but possibly most importantly, there is the company you go through.

I know what you're thinking - "You're a Christian! Just go with a churchy organization." Yah, one problem with that: I don't know if you've noticed? But a majority of Christians are assholes. Now, to be fair, it isn't an actual majority. It's just the ones who get all the attention and press. But those are typically also the ones who start up mission companies. There are denominations within the Church and some of them believe weird things that I want nothing to do with. Others are really legalistic and demand you follow strict sets of rules that have nothing to do with love, mercy, grace, or compassion - which are the things Jesus preached. So all of those are out. That leaves... well, not a lot. And I am really not interested in spending my life working for a company or Church that I don't agree with.

Lucky for me? I found a Church I can get behind. Small, interested in peoples stories, all different backgrounds, and nonjudgmental. And bonus points! It's the Church I already attend. So we are looking into opportunities and hopefully something will work out. Think positively for us!

I am having a difficult time adjusting to this body. It isn't mine and no one can convince me otherwise. The weight and the constant discomfort are enough to drive me into a constant emotional fit. We experienced such a thing this afternoon... I had a good enough morning! I went to a brunch and then to work, where I got a lot done in a short amount of time so I could come home to spend time with my wonderful husband. Then I tried to make myself lunch. Right then and there? My whole world fell apart. As if a meltdown had just been waiting in the wings to burst forth. Thanks, emotional rollercoaster of pregnant wonder, thanks. Our pepper grinder broke open in my hands, sending little peppercorns all over my food, our stove, and the floor. That was enough to put me on the sofa for the next 2 hours or so while my absolutely phenomenal husband made me lunch and sat with me in my teary, whiney state. I'm super glad that man loves me.

We had our monthly date night last night. Barns & Noble then Thai food! I realize it sounds mundane, and it is, but it is also date bliss. We poured over books about travel, language, crafts, cameras, mission work, and even found a funny book called "Be Prepared" for Marko. It's about what to expect as a new dad - it's hilarious. We looked through the entire "Christian" section and were sorely disappointed at the lack of books about missionaries, about travel, about the rest of the world. Most of them were just commentaries on Jesus in society, guides to reading the Bible, and "how to fix your life up." Whatever. I demand more. I want to live out love the way I believe we are meant to. I want to live in a way that lets others know that they matter. I want to live in the glow that comes from giving everything and then some. Sometimes I think the majority of "Christians" have never read the Bible. If they had? They would not be content with being comfortable or safe, not to mention judgmental.

However, in our search for books on mission, we did discover Kisses From Katie. Now here is a girl I can stand next to. She gave up everything everyone said she should want in order to live in the dust of Uganda loving on any and everyone she could - and continues to do so. This is what Mark and I want for our lives. I respect that not everyone wants nor is called to this, but I can't for the life of me figure out why the hell not.

You can check out her book on Amazon:
Kisses From Katie

Or just take a look at her blog:
Kisses From Katie

It's funny, four hours ago I was falling to pieces for the millionth time during the pregnancy. Now? I can't wait to be a part of something like this, something where I have the opportunity to love on people like the deserve to be loved. It's too far away, too long from now. But soon. Soon.