Get Rid Of All Your Stuff

I always see these articles in the newspaper, online news sources, Pinterest, Facebook, you name it - about how to live on less than $50,000 a year, or maybe even $30,000. There are so many articles on ways to save, books written about it. And, honestly? I'm confused.

Now, these are wonderful goals in the epitome of a westernized country: to live counter-culturally, seeking simplicity instead of extravagance, steering clear of consumerism. But there is also something sickening about it. What about the millions of people living on $1.75 a day - or less? The statistics are overwhelming and it's so easy to ignore because we don't see it. Our lives aren't directly touched by those in need. We don't witness malnutrition or HIV run rampant without medication. There aren't small children tapping on our car windows every time we brake, asking for food or change. We train ourselves to look away from the homeless and the helpless. We live in a way that encourages selfishness, that promotes conceit and egocentricity on top of indulgence.

I am guilty. I squander what has been given to me; time, talent, testimony, and treasure. I am unworthy of the gifts and blessings I am absolutely drenched in. I whine incessantly and forget to be grateful. I am so guilty. I think the most evident example of this in my own life is that the worst part of pregnancy for me is the weight gain - that's entirely vanity speaking. I can think of 3 couples just off the top of my head who can't have children and it broke their hearts. They are now 6 of the best parents I know, not only to their own adopted children, but to each child they happen across within their communities. They couldn't and I can, my discomfort is disproportionate to their heartbreak.

But what if I genuinely lived in thankfulness? What if I woke up each day and was comforted by my inability to sleep and growing waist size because there are people who long for what I am experiencing? What if I lived on as little as possible, not because it makes me a better person, but because my comfort is not worth the discomfort of another. The $100 I spend on haircare a year could pay for a child to attend school for that same amount of time. One dinner out is more than the cost of a goat or chicken that could be the livelihood for a family of 5 or 6. Your lazy afternoon could be spent at your local community center tutoring kids that don't have parents to ask for Math or English help. Telling your story might inspire or encourage someone else. There are so many examples I could use.

I can always tell when my mind is cluttered, because my space becomes cluttered. So whenever I feel overwhelmed or upset with the things that are going on in my mind, I clean. Sometimes insane amounts of reorganizing and deep cleaning ensue, other times it's just tidying up a room. Either way, it's like a weight lifted off my mind. And right now? My mind is cluttered. I am ready to be better, to do better. I am exhausted of doing nothing, of simply accepting that this is how it is, of self gratification being the order of the day. I'm ready for more.

I demand more.